Dr Karen Massey
Registered Psychologist

403-390-1815

drkaren@emergo.ca
www.emergo.ca

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Recommended Reading

Couples and Marriage Counselling

Getting the Love you Want: A guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix. (1988) Owl Books, Henry Holt and Company, New York. Although this book is about 30 years old it has stood the test of time since it is still in print and being used by couples and therapists. This is an easy to read book that chronicles the characteristics of couples who live an "Unconscious Marriage" and through struggles realize that they need to have a "Conscious Marriage." This is a practical, how-to-do-it guide that will get you started on the way to better communicating and a better relationship.

Mom's House, Dad's House: A complete guide for parents who are separated, divorced, or remarried, by Isolina Ricci. (1997). Fireside, Simon & Schuster, New York. This book contains a useful 7 Stage model that gives a practical description of the separation process. These stages help you know when the difficult stages are now behind you. The book is filled with tips on handling the stages and the pitfalls to avoid.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert by John M Gottman and N. Silver. (1999) Random House. Toronto.

This book provides you with practical information of how to have a harmonious loving relationship as well as questionnaires and exercises.

The Relationship Cure: a 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships by John M. Gottman & Joan DeClaire. (2001).Three Rivers Press. New York. Having read the Seven Principles this book will take you into a deeper understanding of how to enrich your relationship in 5 practical steps that you can immediately see the benefit of.

10 Lessons to Transform your Marriage by John Gottman, Julie Gottman, and Joan DeClaire.(2006). Three Rivers Press, New York.

Having problems like not feeling close anymore?. Only having time for the kids? This is the third book that takes you into a deeper understanding of what are the components of a great marriage and what are ways to overcome some of the common problems in a marriage.

Undefended Love by Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons. (2000). Raincoast Books. This book offers you ideas on how to be in an intimate relationship by speaking your microscopic truths and feelings with courage and compassion.

We: Understanding the psychology of Romantic Love by Robert A. Johnson. (1983). Harper Collins, New York. Using an analysis about the myth Tristan and Iseult, the author takes us into a deep place of understanding love that begins with histories'first recorded origins of love.

Systemic and Family Constellations

Supporting Love: How love works in Couple Relationships by Bert Hellinger. 2001. Zeig, Tucker & Theisen, Phoenix, AZ. Always filled with deep insights, Hellinger's views and descriptions of his seminar results provide a unique way of helping couples.

Addictions

It will Never Happen to Me: Growing up with addiction as youngsters, adolescents, adults by Claudia Black. (2001). MAC Publishing, Bainbridge Island, WA. This is a must read if you are trying to understand addictive behaviors and their development. Dr. Black is a renowned researcher in the area of addictions.

Other Helpful Books

Changing for Good: A revolutionary six-stage program for overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward by J.O. Prochaska, J.C. Norcross, C.C. Diclemente (1994). Avon Books, New York. A practical way of assessing what stage of change you are at is provided by this six stage model. Using stopping smoking as the change issue, we can follow the thought process through the six stages as follows: Are you not even thinking about stopping smoking? (precontemplation stage). Are you thinking you might stop someday? (contemplation) Have you made a decision to stop in the next two months? (preparation) Have you now quit? (action) Did you go to a party last night and did not smoke (maintenance) Have you not smoked for the past year (successful termination).

Horse Sense for People: Using the gentle wisdom of the Join-Up technique to enrich our relationships at home and at work by Monty Roberts. Alfred Knopf Canada. 2001. ISBN 0-676-97332-9 If you enjoy working with horses or reading about interacting with them, then you may benefit from learning more about relating with horses and transferring that learning into relating with people. Mr. Roberts describes his Join-up technique with horses through building trust and confidence, and not using force or demand. This philosophy of relating with others can be put to good use when dealing with your family, friends and office colleagues, even starting with the basics of having a good handshake to make the first positive impression that you want.

What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.
Emil Brunner